So, I haven't been playing video games that much these past few weeks. I've found that I am lovin' the NES
and even Gameboy
games of late. Conversely, I'm generally bored by the SNES
, even though it used to be my main system in the early years of this site.
Despite this, three weeks ago I saw a new-to-me SNES game at my local used game store, available for a reasonable price. Even though I knew I'd probably regret it, I just couldn't say no. And regret it I did -- it's still early, but if this month is any indicator, I've got another entry for a future games I've played less than 3 times
But then it happened again last week -- another SNES game I'd never seen in the wild, another impulse purchase, and another boring SNES cartridge I may or may not play ever again.
Allow me to use a picture form an earlier unfortunate Gameboy purchase to show how intelligent I feel now:
However, one of the main reasons I started this site is to make some lemonade out of my short-attention-span lemons, and Unamusing SNES Game #2 certainly mixed a lot of kookiness in to its long beginning tedium (in fact, so much so it reminds me of some other games
I could mention).
So this week, join me for some scene-by-scene Introductory Movie Review of...
Ys III: Wanderers from Ys
I like to think it's pronounced "yeeeeeeees?"
So the title screen's rendition of the protagonist makes Hydlide's in-game avatar
look like a smoldering tower of machismo, but that's not even the funniest part of this preamble:
It appears that the actual title screen of Ys III
is unavailable if the game has no saved slots.
The first time you boot up this cartridge, your only option is to sit through a 10-ish minute long series of unskippable cut scenes. Now I'm Definitely getting flashbacks to the Ghost of Abandoned Games Past
So I guess what I'm saying is, this probably won't be news to anyone who's played this game before (you were forced to watch it), but it provided me with basically all the entertainment value I've gleaned from my purchase.
...anyway, onwards and wanderwards!
...we begin with a pan across a fantasy/medieval marketplace...
Then focus on two primary-hued dudes, just in time for some mode-7 zoom in!
Yes, it's both pseudo-medieval AND chokingly anime-ish.
(Also, some people may or may not have faces...but our protagonist sure does!)
We get our first dialog, and...DAMMIT --
am I stuck with Scrappy Doo
as a sidekick again?
But actually, maybe not -- given that Captain Ronald McDonald Hair from the title screen is quite clearly human, yet has a very silly name, maybe "DOGI" is just another goofy-named dude...
And with the third sentence, we learn it's going to be one of those "non-native-English-speaker" translations, so the dialog will make them sound like they're alternately toddlers or rocket scientists.
No excuse needed; I find awkwardly-constructed statements one of the highest forms of humor!
(As regular visitors to my site will attest)
Riiiiight there with ya, buddy.
Wow, he truly is my in-game avatar!
Well, I think that's about enough for this week.
But tune in
next week whenever I'm desperate enough for filler that I revisit this game some time, when you'll see THIS exciting scene:
See, THIS is the kind of doggie side-kick that I would be cool with.
— carlmarksguy, 2015-07-24